Semi-hopeful no more… Hello solicitor life!

Wow! After an injury that has written me off work for a short while and for the first time in a long time rendered me looking for things to do, I was looking for a creative outlet of some kind and remembered my old blog. I am pleased to say I qualified at the end of last year after a training contract I thoroughly enjoyed working in crime. I am reminded I had a self-imposed qualification deadline of 26 which I then accepted may not happen. Life is full of surprises – I turn 27 in a couple of weeks! (Just a reminder you can apply to the SRA for a 6 months reduction based on previous experience. Please note I qualified through the LPC route, and many people going forward in the UK will be doing the new SQE route.)

I can see in my last post at age 24 I had defied my parents, handed out CVs on my street, and took a job in a laundrette to allow me time to do applications and interviews instead of working in roles/areas of law I did not enjoy on low pay. That I did do – in my last post I had just got a vacancy in family law, which was closer to my interests, which ended when the pandemic began. Whilst between legal jobs for a month or two before that began, I improved my application and interview techniques and alongside the family role had found a job vacancy in crime (I say I, but my super mum had actually sent me the link!) which I had not seen myself doing, and thought I matched the job profile to be a legal advisor in Magistrates’ courts pretty well. Although I thought it was a long shot, I remember getting excited and rushing the application as the deadline was 4pm that same day. I got all the laundry done (if only it was my own…) and ploughed through that application, eventually getting invited to an interview and officially getting the job offer much further down the line.

I remember feeling so guilty at the time, trying to get one role whilst working in another, and then dreading the meeting where I handed in my notice. Top tip… whilst loyalty is a great quality, always remember that businesses are just that, and will put that before you should push come to shove. ALWAYS put yourself first as you just don’t know what could happen (none of us would have expected a global pandemic.)

I would call my training contract in crime a dream one, as I don’t know of any others that would allow you to do your training contract ‘seats’ in youth crime courts as well as the family courts. 2 years on and I am pleased to say I was right where I wanted to be. Until I broke my leg, that is, but life goes on!

Letters to a Law Student/Graduate: 10 Tips for an Aspiring Solicitor

I started this blog when I was 19, and ironically at 24 am STILL on this ruthless path to eventually qualify as a solicitor. It is almost like 19-year-old me was a little bit psychic when naming this blog! My aim at 19 was to qualify as a solicitor as soon as possible. At 20, I decided to prolong my studies and do a Master’s, imagining I would begin my two-year training after my LPC the following year.

By the end of my LPC (with a cheeky LLM thrown in to make us feel 0.1% better about the extortionate cost) I felt like never EVER picking up a textbook again. I had had countless interviews and rejections in my final couple of years of my studies, repeatedly being told that my applications were very impressive, and the only feedback they could offer me was that I needed more legal experience. Apparently, amazing grades, numerous work placements, legal degrees, pro bono legal roles and a wealth of extra-curriculars just weren’t sufficient when obtaining that precious training contract! I quickly realised that you were either one of those extra keen beans, applying to corporate firms in 1st or 2nd year, or you were… screwed? Not only was I more concerned with partying, protesting and meeting new people at that time, but I also personally had 0 desire to work for a firm that deep down in my heart I felt was contributing to the elitist, capitalist system we are in (despite the paycheck and the glamour of the sexy, sleek offices.) As much as the image of dressing up in smart suits like I was actually in Suits appeals to me for a second, I quickly realise that in reality I would be rushing off the sweaty, crammed train in smelly trainers, running to my office with overpriced coffee tricking down my hand, only to be changing into high heels I can’t even walk in to meet clients rich enough to pull a third world country out of poverty AND getting home late… I am not sure that is quite my cup of tea – sorry, my cup of £4 Starbucks coffee.

I did get a job at a local high street firm, which I was hoping to lead to a training contract but first required me to work in Property Law as a paralegal for a year (on pretty dire pay.) I jumped at this chance, with my self-imposed qualifying deadline of age 26 on red alert in my burnt-out brain. Remember that passion of mine… property? Oh wait… So there I was, with very little property knowledge, trying to wing it and learn both the law and the admin side of things on the job. Top tip: don’t do this, unless you have a real interest in the area.

Fast forward: here I am, working part-time in a laundrette. And that is the end of my legal career. (….Just kidding! There is no going back now!) I have spent just over one month going to numerous interviews, unpacking boxes in my new flat (which I did my own legal work for – silver lining!) and working part-time across the road doing my first ever job in hospitality instead of an office… and I love it! My poor father panicked thinking I will choose this life permanently, working minimum wage and popping out a baby sometime soon. I actually wish… the most annoying part of biology is my biological clock tick tick ticking against my uterus, reminding me that I can’t just take the batteries out and put them in when my career is where I want it to be many years down the line, but I just need to ignore it and get my baby kicks out of staring at strangers’ babies like an absolute creep instead! That aside, everything happens for a reason and I absolutely needed this month’s break to regroup and remind myself that my worth is not dependent on my legal knowledge or skills, and I am absolutely fine as is. It is so easy to forget this when you are wrapped up in a ruthless career path, drenched in rejection and alcohol. DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! There is so much more to life, and it is heartbreaking to read constant articles with a different lawyer killing themselves each week because they run into a hiccup in their career and feel like their world is crumbling, or seeing colleagues break down in tears and panic attacks feeling overwhelmed with pressure from clients and potential claims against them. We are not just aspiring lawyers, or lawyers, or our job title. We are PEOPLE, GODDAMMIT! With insecurities and breakups and mistakes and bad days. We may have to ‘uphold the respect of the profession’ and make sacrifices for this career choice, but we should never ever lose sight of the fact that a job is a job, and without mental and physical health there is really no point in that job at all (apart from survival, of course.) Sidenote: mental health awareness is drastically changing recently, with bigger firms starting to make changes to acknowledge the issue. The optimist in me thinks that this is a hugely positive shift that will improve the culture for the better.. the pessimist in me thinks that bringing in puppies for the day may be used to portray the culture in a positive (and adorable) light, when in reality pressure to meet billing targets and stay late may not change much in practice.

After weeks getting both rejections and to final interview stages, dissecting my life, grades and ambitions, exploring my worth and still getting told someone else had more experience than me, having the odd drunk cry but finding solace in the slightly-positive-but-negative feedback and deciding to reject job offers on despicable pay or unhealthy work environments (or both,) a job in family law that feels perfectly right eventually arose and I start this week. Again, I need to paralegal for 12 months and should (hopefully) secure a training contract and qualify slightly later than my self-imposed deadline, at age 27.

My tips for people pursuing this career are:

1. If you can, try and figure out your areas of interest as early as you can, via modules, work experience/vac schemes, networking (or straight up just following your passions/heart.) Choose your LPC electives wisely, and choose firms that will allow you to paralegal in your area of choice, or do a seat in it as part of your TC. Don’t get sucked into something else as you won’t perform your best and it could result in you being very demotivated or feeling negative.
2. In many ways, this industry is quite old-fashioned. Send your CV and cover letters by post as well as email or even call to confirm that it was received. Show persistence. I wrote to my new firm a month ago with no success, only to resend it last week and was called in right away due to a new vacancy. If you are going for the big firms – try and get a vac scheme and note that many firms do recruit from vac schemes or internally, so consider paralegalling and networking there. Fill out their long-ass forms but quadruple check: one spelling mistake and you are OUT.
3. If you have an idea of what you want: choose your stepping stones wisely. I met someone the other day who paralegalled for 6 years before getting his desired TC at Ashurst. If you want to get into social justice or human rights like I was considering, try and get some experience that you can make relevant both in your career (e.g. litigation or working with vulnerable groups) and personal life (e.g. charity work or being involved with a campaign.) Vote wisely as austerity has had severe implications, not only for ordinary people and access to justice but for opportunities to get into working in legal aid areas.
4. Don’t be disheartened by rejection. Learn to shake it off and move on to the next! I can honestly say pursuing this profession requires dedication, faith in yourself and strength of character. Sometimes things just aren’t the right fit or are out of your hands. Don’t be afraid to sound very confident and big yourself up. Other people are doing the same!
5. Choose your next steps wisely. A reason I felt very disheartened throughout this process is because I have been choosing steps wisely for over a decade, from starting my own clubs at school to improve my chances of getting into a good uni,  to emailing barristers and firms trying to get work experience for my own reassurance I was choosing the right path, to joining societies, attending law talks and workshops, joining pro bono initiatives like with the National Centre for Domestic Violence and taking advantage of many opportunities to develop myself as a person. Make the most of services available to you at uni or as an alumni, including career services and meeting your Personal Advisor. Don’t worry: I know many people who didn’t do all that and still managed to get paralegal roles that lead to a TC in small high street firms. Depending on your intentions, remember that it is harder to go from a high street firm to a huge firm than it is vice versa.
6. LPC or super exam? A lot is currently changing, with a new super exam being introduced to replace the costly LPC. Please do your research and consider your timings. Is it worth rushing to do the LPC if you can manage it, as many law firms may prefer the traditional route until the new route becomes tried and tested? If finances do not allow, is it worth paralegalling and waiting a year or two to do the super exam? When trying to get a TC, you can apply to firms that do not require you to have completed the LPC, but a huge number do require you to have completed the LPC. Some small firms may be flexible and allow you to do the LPC part-time whilst paralegalling.
7. Be very cautious about putting yourself in positions that could prevent you from practice. I am wary of going to Extinction Rebellion protests, for example, despite my support for the cause, because all it takes it being in the wrong place at the wrong time and your career could be over before it has even started. When doing your TC you will have to do a suitability test so any run-ins with the police, whether your fault or not, will arise or need to be declared (dishonesty is an offence taken EXTREMELY seriously by the SRA.)
8. Be ruthless. This felt extremely unnatural to me. I felt the need to be loyal to a firm, and didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. However, I did want to figure out my worth before making any final decisions, so sent out MANY applications and numerous recruiters. I put myself up for low-paid paralegal roles in my areas of choice, well-paid property roles, part-time roles thinking that this could buy me time to do TC applications, and TCs. I attended every interview I was offered for experience, and negotiated pay in interviews for jobs (even higher if they didn’t offer me my exact areas of choice.) If you are working full-time, I suggest you be more fussy and perfect your applications for firms that really appeal to you. When it comes to asking about pay, remember there is no harm from asking higher at the end of the interview or when given an offer. If they make you an offer but you are waiting on something better, try and buy a little bit of time (within reason.) Remember: they would probably drop you faster than any hat, so don’t be afraid of keeping your options open.
9. Work hard, don’t be lazy, hold your hands up if you make a mistake, be honest, ASK FOR HELP!
10. Most of all: look after yourself, and don’t lose sight of your self-respect and self-worth. All experience is good experience, but take what you can and leave if you are miserable. Being kind and positive goes a long way, and can allow you to maintain relations with people that can offer you advice or support down the line, even once you leave a firm. You are wonderful! (Unless you’re not that nice, in which case… be nicer. And do corporate law. :P)

Does a Second Brexit Referendum undermine democracy?

This is an argument I have heard a lot, from mostly Leavers (of course) but also some Remainers and it always ends in me scratching my head in bemusement. Their claim implies their belief that the first referendum was democratic. With democracy literally meaning ‘rule by people,’ a referendum is clearly a democratic idea which quite literally takes the control away from politicians and hands it over to the people, so of course, I see where they are coming from. If we accept that it was democracy in action, regardless of whether or not the public was well informed or misinformed about the issues, then I still struggle to understand how the very same democratic tool can essentially ‘cancel out’ the democratically made decision in 2016. Does this not mean one could argue that the 2016 vote was undemocratic for reversing what was agreed about joining the EU decades ago? Surely handing control BACK to the people to revote is still, quite literally, ruling by the people?

Many Leavers would argue that Remainers want a People’s vote because they were unhappy with the vote the first time round and they want to stop Brexit. In all honesty, I was and I do…. But let’s put that issue aside for a second and focus on the question we began with. Do Leavers really believe that a second referendum would undermine democracy, or are they just worried that a second vote will shift the majority to the Remain side and their win would be a thing of the past? With a result as close as 52-48, the chances of a Leave win are pretty slim – not only are there are millions of young adults who were unable to vote in 2016 who are being denied the right to vote on their future, but so many people who voted Leave in 2016 have admitted they would now vote Remain now they have more of an idea of what a Brexit will look like in reality (less NHS staff, the loss of jobs, a weak pound, recession, the return of an Irish border, potential US-UK trade deal resulting in a reduction in our food standards and increased privatisation of the NHS, years or decades of work ahead to recover distracting from serious crises like climate change, the loss of healthcare benefits abroad, 27 less countries to live, travel and work freely in, increased queues, loss of free data roaming, tariffs on certain goods increasing prices and restricting our trade, the time and environmental repercussions of trying to make individual trade deals across the globe, the lack of medicine which we are unable to stockpile and less say in decisions that will undoubtedly affect us – just to name a few!) This leads to the question… why would so many people vote differently?

I always said from the beginning that something as complex at the EU should not be given to the public to vote on – especially not when it was raised by Remainers eager to win some votes to keep to Conservatives in power (which it did) and especially not by an elitist pig molester who would bugger off to Nice when shit hit the fan. Believe me, that is not because I have the most faith in politicians who are, sadly, more often than not corrupted by their own self-interests, but because the history, laws and UK’s relationship with the EU is complicated enough to leave undergraduates studying EU law for a year struggling to get their head around it. With our own leaders not even knowing the very basics (such as Raab grappling with the idea that we are an island and therefore dependent on overseas trade, or Corbyn making the common mistake that the European Court of Human Rights is an EU institution), and decades of mainstream news keeping the British public in the dark about EU decisions and rulings, how on earth are the rest of us supposed to have a strong understanding of the social, political, economic and legal concepts, and an accurate reflection of the benefits and drawbacks of the single market, EU legislation and immigration? Whilst the rest of the EU sees footage from inside the European Parliament on their mainstream news channels daily, out of all member states, the UK has ALWAYS been the country with the most leniency, and yet all the British money-grabbing unethical media outlets have spent decades instead publishing swathes of negative (and often false) stories about the EU. The EU are taking some of our fish, and god FORBID our bendy bananas! The Conservative government has encouraged this, as whilst blame is shifted onto the EU and onto immigrants, they continue to push austerity and make cut after cut to public services, from the NHS to the police force, from education to disability benefits, etc.

Regardless, it is difficult to frame this perspective in a way that makes the referendum seem undemocratic. However, once you throw in the big red double-liar bus (claiming that £350 million a week would go to the NHS instead of the EU) and the now certain illegal overspending of the Leave campaign, it is quite difficult to frame it in a way that makes it seem democratic to begin with. In a game involving power-hungry opportunist toddlers in which no one else knows the rules, is it realistic to expect a fair fight?  It may not be realistic, but it sure as hell does not make it right. Take Boris, who had two speeches prepared (one Leave, one Remain) ready to take his pick on a whim. Take Farage, with his European wife, who campaigned for Leave before abandoning them on their march he was supposed to attend. Farage, who argued consistently that the EU was run by unelected bureaucrats, now trying to run in the EU elections himself now he realises he needs to plan for his long-term financial interests. Farage, who had private information from polling companies that leave would just about win and gave a speech before the result conceding that Remain would win only to cash in and fill up his pockets. Where were they when we needed a believer to lead us through the chaos they caused? They were not there, because they knew that leaving would not be as easy as they made out. Rees-Mogg has himself changed his mind, going from pushing for disastrous no deal to supporting May’s deal which would entail a softer Brexit still leaving us worse off than we are IN the EU.

So many Leave voters had genuinely good intentions to want to make our country a better place, to save our crippling NHS and improve the standard of living for ordinary people. With our nurses being forced to use food banks, getting onto the property ladder being near impossible for young adults, and 1 in 5 people living in poverty in the UK, it is no surprise that people would want to be heard and make a change. Were these innocent people not lied to whilst politicians, eager for another win, falsely presented it as an opportunity to ‘take back control’ and have an informed input on the biggest decision of our generation? I would argue that consent must be informed consent, but even if you don’t agree: if the people could speak in 2016, the people can speak again.

“Democracy is knowing what you are voting for”

♥ Coming to terms with the impending death of a grandparent ♥

After 21 years of being fortunate enough to not have had to deal with the death of anyone close to me, I have recently been told that my eldest grandfather may only have a couple of months left to live. Yep, this is a fun one…

So I am currently in the library attempting to study for my final exam next week and thought maybe writing down my feelings would help to ensure that when the time comes I am mentally prepared. Of course, I’ll be devasted but I suppose I am lucky to have a warning. Coincidentally, my master’s degree in Medical Law and Ethics has introduced me to the medical world and the concept of death. I was so reluctant to choose modules relating to the ‘end of life’ at the beginning of the year as I branded it ‘too depressing.’ However, I quickly changed my mind when I realised that this reason was ridiculous! The module was popular and controversial (just like me! Just kidding – I am not popular,) and I am delighted that I changed my mind and did a module called Ethics at the End of Life. Basically, it taught me to grow the f*** up and come to terms with the bleak reality that we’re all going to die. Or even worse, end up in a Persistent Vegetative State. That sounds really depressing (and word of advice: have a think about what YOU would want in such a situation and consider signing an Advance Directive, or at least tell your loved ones clearly,) but I do think the module gave me a more positive outlook on death, and whilst some of my modules made me decide I want to be healthier and try to live to 100, this one forced me to contemplate the harsh reality of life. People will die. People you love will die. YOU will die. AND THERE AIN’T NOTHIN’ YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

I did some coursework on ‘ageism’ in healthcare and whilst my initial reaction to the question of whether resources should be allocated using age cut-off points was in favour of such policies, my view rapidly changed as I thought more about the meaning of life. Who has got a right to tell you when your time is up? Who has got a right to tell you how to live, or not live? In reality, whilst I started eating vegetables with the intention of living until 100, my grandparents seem to have rather different perspectives. They claim to have done all they have wanted to do, and seen everywhere they have wanted to see. I have no doubts that in my grandfather’s lifetime he has seen it all – he was a doctor in the British army, has lived, worked and travelled all over the world, and lived long enough to know all of his grandchildren when they are old and mature enough to really get to know him and spend time with him. He’s even stuck around long enough for the birth of his first great-grandchild! All whilst having Type 1 diabetes since his 40s.

I’m sure most people out there have been through a similar loss (or losses) before so maybe this is deserving of an eye-roll. Poor me! 21 and has all grandparents and has never experienced a huge loss! I admire everyone who has been through such things and managed gracefully. This is me trying! Though when the day comes I really have no idea if I will be mentally prepared or glugging a mixture of wine, snot and tears… I think with a touch of spirituality, an ounce of weed* and as much time as possible spent with my grandparents I should be able to make it through this with a grateful smile, a stronger family and ideally…. a training contract?

 

*Don’t smoke weed kids. Comedic effect.

Random story: The One With The Tattoo Hiding

Right, so if you’re ever reading this Mum or Dad… stop. Stop reading! Go and do something else. Please?

So I’m going to have to disclose that I have a (small) tattoo of a treble clef on my bum to tell this story. I got a matching one to my sister, not just because we’re massively into music but also because the symbol is made up of the first letters of my brother, sister and my names. I can’t exactly show you as that is too much effort, but trust me on that one. Anyway, the parents know now but think I got it after my first year of university. So when this story is set I was under 18 and basically would have been in a LOT of trouble. Anyway – tattoo, cameras, parents, trapped on a boat… buckle your seatbelts.

So we were on a family trip on a Mediterranean cruise (yes, I’m aware that I have an amazing and blessed life.) Each evening there was some form (if not forms) of entertainment going on (sidenote: go on a cruise – they’re amazing.) So one night my sister and I were going to go to the ‘Adult Game Show’ whilst my parents went to watch a pianist elsewhere, but before heading there we broke out into a huge argument over some major betrayal (not really – it was over hair straighteners.) (I need to stop with the brackets.) Anyway, I stormed off to the game show like a strong independent black woman that don’t need no man. As I waited for the show to start in a sea of strangers, I spotted my sister on the opposite side of the stadium-style hall. I don’t think she was close enough to see my evil glare, but I was hoping she’d feel it. Good old teenage angst. The show began.

The presenter walked out onto the stage with the camera crew, announcing that the game show would be filmed to screen and made available to buy on DVD (probably for mad amounts of money, can I use this as an excuse to complain about capitalism? Not really, but why not. Always complain about capitalism.) Anyway, he said that the audience would be split into five sections, and a male and female team captain would be needed to act for each team. He began by asking the section to my left. Then, he moved on to my section. WHY THE FUCK NOT. I ran down the steps (did I mention the stadium-like style thing?) and climbed over the barrier onto the stage. “MEEEEEEEEE!” shouted 16 year old me. I wasn’t even meant to be there at this Adult game show. Whoops #fuckthesystem. As he moved round the sections, my evil sister (jk) witnessed my badassness from across the room. What did she do? DECIDE TO TAKE THIS FIGHT OUT ON THE STAGE. It was on.

So basically (this is where I’m going to struggle) the game involved different things being read out by the hot presenter (Abel mi Belle,) which then each section/team had to produce and take to the back of the stage to the presenter and cameras. Some examples include… three men in bras and lipgloss, or a woman wearing green that can do the splits, etc. The team that got there the fastest would get 5 points, the second would get 4 points, the third would get 3, and so on. Does that explain it well enough? Because the male and female team captains of each team were on the stage already, it was obviously faster if one of us could do it as we would get there faster. And this was war.

‘A FEMALE WITH A TATTOO BELOW THE WAIST!’ Abel mi Belle announced. We legged it. We hitched up our nice dresses. We showed Abel mi Belle and the camera our tattoos/bums. I’m not sure which of us got there first or if we got there at the same time, but we beat the others. Anyway, we didn’t really think much of it, to be honest. We carried on the game and it was hilariously fun. I think my section got 3rd place and I got a bronze medal (but I still beat my sister!)

By this point, straighteners had been long forgotten and my sister and I proceeded to go for a sober dance at the pool party on that night. I actually remember the strange sensation of being aware that people looking at me as we wandered round. Then a few people started to approach us. ‘You’re the sisters with the matching tattoos!’ a Spanish lady exclaimed. Over that night, people kept smiling, waving, asking to see our tattoos again and a couple asked for photos with us… -.-

It kind of puts a downer on your 15(5) minutes of fame to have to worry about people recognising you when you’re with your family. And how to explain any incidents?! The next day was a sea day (meaning the boat was not stopping anywhere that day) meaning we had a full day trapped on a boat with my parents and the possibility of people coming up to us ‘matching-tattoo-rival-competitor-sisters.’ To make matters worse, the game show was being shown on the TV on a loop ALL DAY. We had to distract them from TVs, hide remote controls, and prevent my dad from buying the DVD when a waving ‘fan’ cause us to confess that we acted as team captains. We managed, though! Now maybe one day they’ll read this… fingers crossed they don’t! If you do… it’s a joke.

‘A CHRISTMAS JOKE!’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ38jTQcO1k

 

 

Random story: The One Where I Fell Into A Lake

It was a beautiful summer’s day in London. The sun was shining, the cider was flowing, the water in Regent’s Park lake was glistening. Birds were singing, people were dancing. Literally, people were dancing for some salsa session under a beautiful marque. Am I setting the scene well enough yet? Basically, imagine a perfect post-exam day in the south of France (not England.) With lots of colourful flowers everywhere. To top things off, I was hangover free on this spectacular Saturday afternoon! A group of us strolled down the grass to sit by the riverbank, as you would when you’re on pretend holiday in the south of France. As we relaxed in the hazy heavenly warmth, a pedalo in the distance caught my (mildly intoxicated) eyes. To my surprise, it came closer and closer towards us and the steep river bank, clearly not intended for docking purposes. ‘We’re trying to get people on our boat and no one has done it!’ exclaimed one of the men dressed as a sailor. The two sailors had fancy glass champagne glasses in their hands, a champagne bottle and two empty seats behind them. Without missing a beat my sister’s boyfriend jumped up and leapt onboard. For a few seconds, time stood still. My heart leapt. ‘I will regret not getting on this boat for the rest of my life,’ I thought to myself, with more profoundness than I’d ever experienced at any other point in my 21 years. Just when you’d think I’d used up my wisdom-ration for the year, I even passed my phone to my friend. I stood up. I stepped forward. I fell.

So there I am, on this beautiful summer’s day, in Regents Park lake past my waist, scrambling onto the back of the boat which had moved about a metre whilst I had been… faffing, frankly. The many, many people on the grass looked on. I managed to get onto the boat, minus a shoe. You would think that this is a story I look back on and cringe with embarrassment… but you would be wrong. Very, very wrong. In fact, I think it might have been one of the best days of my entire life. Not only did the sun dry the clean, clear water from my clothes and ends of my hair (just kidding – the water was gross but I made it out infection free,) but the sailors pulled out two more glasses out of their rucksack and kept refilling them with champagne as if I was an elegant queen, not some shameless student alcoholic that had just fallen into a lake to try and get free alcohol. We had a wonderful half an hour or so, swapping seats to help peddle, knocking into young teens on romantic dates, laughing, drinking, baking in the gentle heat…

When it came to the end of our fairytale adventure, we returned to our starting place… The Place Where I Fell Into The Lake. My sister’s boyfriend hopped off and I followed. The two sailors decided to also hop off and abandon their boat, as cool free spirits that get dressed up as sailors and get a pedalo with champagne and glasses and strangers would do. As one of them stepped off the boat and onto the bank, the boat moved backwards slightly and… SPLASH. The lucky audience got to witness our second fall into the lake. He was sort of hanging onto the bank with his arms, with his legs on the boat, with his torso forming a bridge over the water. At this point, I really should have asked him to find my shoe. We had a good laugh and a group photo so we could all document that day. Not that I’ll ever forget! 10/10 – would do again. Also, walking home with no shoes on in London was surprisingly absolutely fine. Only a few funny looks from small children…

WINNING! KCL TO DIVEST FROM FOSSIL FUEL INDUSTRY!

YAAAAAYYYY!!!!

Okay. So I’m a week later than I wanted to be with this post… but the satisfaction still hasn’t died down!

After a couple of months of protesting weekly in creative ways to put pressure on King’s to divest from the fossil fuel industry… we have won! After decorating the campus, going on fasts, spraying walls with chalk-based paint… King’s College Climate Emergency (KCCE) have succeeded! We staged an occupation last Tuesday (I’m glad I got to do one before my student life is over) until we had a meeting with the Vice Principle to put the agreement into writing and go over our demands…

KCL, KCCE and KCLSU have agreed upon the following points, subject to confirmation by the College Council:

1. King’s College London students continue to demonstrate their commitment to creating a better world.

2. We are agreed that divestment is just one aspect of dealing with the imperative urgently to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

3. We will pump-prime new research to underpin this ‘carbon free’ delivery.

4. We agree that King’s College London will have divested from all fossil fuels by the end of the year 2022

5. King’s will be ‘carbon free’ by 2025, but this is dependent upon having options without significant financial impact.

6. King’s will increase its commitment to investments with socially responsible benefits from the present aim of 15% to an aspiration of at least 40% by 2025.

7. Regular progress towards delivering these targets will be made, including a formal annual report on progress.

 

So… I know this will not bring climate change to a halt (which would be ideal) but it is one small win, and similar action at LSE and UCL has already escalated this week. Campaigns for this cause have been going on for years without concrete results, and I consider myself to be blessed to be in the right place at the right time to play a part in staying on the right side of history. (Which, ironically, is probably by being pretty left…) The campaign would not have been successful without the incredible dedication of Roger Hallam, a KCL PHD student putting his ‘political activism’ degree to good use. He went on hunger strike for 14 days (FOURTEEN DAYS!,) took control of planning and press releases and made dealing with KCL staff a pleasure simply by having been a nice, friendly person to them in his time at the uni.

So, I have learnt several things from my experience. At first, I was extremely reluctant to engage in any ‘civil disobedience,’ however as the cause gained momentum I wanted to show solidarity to the other, more determined and braver protesters. Whilst I avoided painting on walls, I set off several smoke bombs and volunteered with two others to deal with security at the occupation (fortunately and surprisingly, they came in being lovely and asking us if we needed anything!) Learning about the law in my degree has taught me to steer clear of any risk of being on the wrong side of it… but now I question whether this is always the best approach when an injustice can be prevented. Speaking up is sometimes the only solution, and taking part in something bigger than yourself is truly touching. Being surrounded by like-minded people determined to contribute to making the world a better place has undoubtedly encouraged me to continue bettering myself by campaigning, volunteering, doing charity work and partaking in any other ways that I can spread the love! Not only have I met people with whom I hope to keep in touch with for a long time and made memories to last a lifetime, but I have learnt that in life you probably will be surrounded by many (if not most) people who don’t believe in you, or what you believe in, or have any faith that significant changes can be made with some chalk, flowers and cardboard signs. They can! Stay woke xxx

Oh yeah, and I made it into The Tab before my student days are over. Occupation… check! Tab mention… check! Challenging the establishment… check! Saving the world…….okay, still a long way to go with that one.

http://thetab.com/uk/kings/2017/03/08/kcce-taken-old-conference-room-24-hours-12512

Sidenote: The occupation took place in The Old Committee Room at the Strand campus… which felt like we’d stepped straight into Dumbledore’s office. It was probably the poshest room I’ve slept in (curled up on the floor in the corner!) The room is covered in photos of old King’s headteachers. We played ‘Find the Brown Person’ and all lost.

 

Update 2019: This campaign was started by Roger Hallam, who went on to become the Co-Founder of Extinction Rebellion.

King’s College: Don’t be a fossil FOOL! DIVEST NOW!

I am angry and determined. I’m a ‘snowflake’ and ‘naive.’ There is a lot to be proactive about right now and whilst we may not be able to do much about Trump the C***’s presidency, we are in one of the best cities in the world to stand up for what is right. But I’m going to try (TRY) and focus on one issue here. It’s an issue that as a student, paying £9000 a year or more, we ought to be speaking up about!

So I just googled (ecosia-ed, actually) King’s sustainability and environmental policies and… they do exist. King’s CLAIMS to recognise ‘it has a responsibility towards being sustainable and protecting the environment.’ Funnily enough, sustainability week starts very soon! Yet for some reason, King’s still invests into an industry which, as we should all be aware, is DESTROYING OUR PLANET! For 30 years, the university has been investing student fees into the oil and gas corporations. Freedom of Information request made in 2013 revealed that the university invested over £8 million in fossil fuel companies (including Shell, Exxon Mobil, Rio Tinto, Centrica, Petro China, and China Petroleum.)

Why? Why is one of the top universities in the UK, if not world, still turning a blind eye to the severity of the situation? Why is action not being taken as fast as possible?  Why are others still failing to follow in the footsteps of Glasgow and SOAS (University of London)? Now, many in the UK have announced divestment plans. However, King’s only agreed to ‘phased divestment’ several months ago and progress seems extremely slow despite a recent survey showing that 96% of King’s students, support divestment from ALL fossil fuels NOW. I suppose we shouldn’t be that surprised that these colonial institutions are more concerned with profit than ethical responsibilities. Hell, even governments are not prioritising such issues. But surely, with levels of pollution being at the highest and most dangerous level yet and with three-quarters of the arctic now melted… you would think (or at least I would think,) that such well-educated bright young minds would be eager to do what they can to encourage sustainability and put pressure on our university to meet its ethical responsibilities.

King’s College Climate Change Emergency is a group set up to achieve just this, and I was proud to attend today’s rally, calling for direct action, at the Strand campus. Whilst campaigners have tried a variety of conventional channels over the years, such as peaceful protests, King’s are still failing to act fast despite the importance of such action for the planet, students and the reputation of the institution. Some activists sprayed removable statements such as ‘Divest now’ on walls of the uni in washable, tried-and-tested chalk-based paint. Foreseeably, some students disagree with this action despite the protesters turning up with an enormous bag of cleaning products. They also happily began to wash the walls and were stopped by King’s staff.

Now, I can try to understand the frustration of some. I attended SOAS, one of the most politically active universities in the UK (and the first in London to announce plans to fully divest from fossil fuels in April 2015.) There, students are vocal and active about causes they are passionate about, usually whether they see themselves as being directly affected or not. Sometimes, some students do take things too far when engaging in serious vandalism and disruption of other students and their work. However, this was rare and ultimately it was a blessing to be surrounded by active, compassionate individuals who dared to act to make the world a better place. Generally, the student body are willing to take whatever non-violent direct action necessary to ensure the institution lives up to its promises and responsibilities. Here is a snippet of the 2015 statement: ‘In June 2014, SOAS agreed to freeze all new investments in fossil fuels, while the question of divestment was investigated. Oil and gas equities currently stand at £1.5 million. In order to implement the divestment plan, an ethical investment criterion will be added to SOAS’ Ethical Investment Policy and the School’s Gift Acceptance Form and due diligence procedure for philanthropic gifts will be amended. The School will also continue to comprehensively collect data across SOAS to establish its carbon footprint.’ Professor Paul Webley, Director of SOAS at the time, said: “SOAS is proud to become the first university in London to divest and we hope more universities will follow suit. Divestment from fossil fuels will enable SOAS to fulfil its responsibilities as an ethical investor, while continuing to ensure that the School’s investments deliver a financial return. This is in line with SOAS’ commitment to environmental sustainability and an important part of the transition towards renewable energy, which SOAS takes very seriously as an institution. As the harmful social and environmental impacts of climate change becoming increasingly clear, these initiatives ensure that SOAS is doing all it can to show leadership on this issue.”

For environmentally-aware students across the globe who do not believe that climate change is all one big ‘hoax’… PLEASE do what you can to encourage your university to divest. The issue is an urgent one. With Brexit, Trump, and climate chaos, the peaceful prosperous future we all want is seriously threatened. We need to start fighting NOW! We may disagree about how to best achieve this goal, but let’s focus on being proactive and showing these institutions that we will not allow them to act like corporate monsters if we can help it. These are our institutions, and we should be able to be proud of studying at them.

Don’t stop believin’

After a three year relationship with my high school sweetheart, it took me well over a year to have had spent enough time in my own wonderful company and be fully ready to be emotionally available to any male, no matter how beautiful inside or out! I was thrown into the single girl world of tinder and weird guys at bars only to realise that to find your prince you have to wade through many many frogs… that or I am just really fussy. I am still not at all sure which. Regardless, I had my best first date today and think it’s one worthy of a permanent record! And I didn’t swipe on him on tinder, I clicked with him in REAL LIFE!! So old school 😉 Let’s hope my prince doesn’t revert back into a frog (LIKE THEY ALL DO!)

Update 2019: This was the first and only time I got GHOSTED. I think I was too fun for him. Too funny to delete.

Brexit? No, you BrexTITS! BREMAIN!

In the past few weeks, I have had too many drunken rants and sobs over the current EU debate that is taking over the UK like the immigrants, chaotically running across our borders because it’s the best country in the world and they are selfish animals. For the sake of this article, I am going to refer to these monstrous, hateful, too-hardworking people as ‘expats,’ just for giggles. Because we all know that they are not expats, they are immigrants, and only true English citizens are awarded the honour of the term ‘expats.’ As if Brits could be immigrants. Madness.

I should probably stop with the sarcasm before all of the Brextits think that they have another one on their side! Not that they’d fully embrace me anyway, with my brown skin and all. I am British though, so some of them may accept me because we all know that to be accepted and (those that are capable of it) loved as an equal human being, you need a beating heart and a British passport.

God save our Queen? That’s all fine and well, but please God, save our moral standing too. I may have a British passport and I am very grateful for that blessing in a world filled with Trump-supporters and hatred. I still feel like an immigrant moving back after 15 years! I was an immigrant in Spain too, with my immigrant British friends, all living in the sun and eating tapas and celebrating the opening of a Waitrose as we practiced our Spanish. I didn’t see all the lovely Spanish people glare at me with hate, or put up signs encouraging hostility, or calling for change for fear that I will steal their jobs with my dirty, foreign hands. Oh, sorry, ‘expats’ as my British friends called themselves.

Looking back, I am appalled at the ignorance and hostility that underlines the Brexit arguments. People, and even some relatives close to me, turn their noses up at these expats (the bad kind, not the good kind) that have done nothing but try and make a better life for themselves. And who can blame them? We have the internet. We have planes. We are living in a globalized, international society which to some, exists only for the economic benefits it brings to them and disappears when it means that Sergio got chosen for that gardening job over our cousin, because he was willing to work later and spoke better English, init. ‘THEY TUK ARE YOBS’ we will yell in protest when our cousin can’t get smashed because Sergio stole his beer money to feed his family. Selfish bastard.

Guys, if you are one of these people swayed by these arguments that immigrants are having a negative impact on this country, I highly advise you turn on the TV and watch Benidorm, or Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents, or any one of those shows that show Brits enjoying themselves abroad (there are many.) Please get a 40 minute glimpse at what British people abroad are like and realise that that behaviour is not confined to that 40 minute show, or even the whole series, not even the Costa del Sol, but to Brits living overseas EVERYWHERE. You know the stereotypical red-skinned, beer-in-hand, suns-out-belly-out image you conjure up in your head out of nothingness? That image is not out of nowhere. It’s way too real. So many brits that live abroad do live like that, and maybe it’s because they can hide behind their British passports (oh wait, no they can’t, they’re slightly too drunk and fat) but for some reason far too many make no effort to learn the foreign language and expect to be spoken to in English! Maybe it’s because the foreign language is just that… foreign. Good thing they are too drunk on cheap foreign alcohol to realise that there, they are also foreign. So yes, turn on the TV (or make a quick trip to Barcelona whilst it’s still this easy) and then go and have a chat with Sergio down the road and you will soon realise that you’d rather have more in common with these immigrants than those expats.

Or maybe the term ‘expats’ is used for Brits because they too face hostility from crazed nationalists still living in the past set on our little island being a superpower, and they have disgraced our nation and no longer deserve the privilege of being in our little xenophobic community. Expats, like an ex-boyfriend or an ex-employee. ‘YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE!’ Maybe, who knows at this point. If people keep behaving like this, they probably will tackle the overpopulation issue as they will simultaneously be stopping people from migrating whilst also disgusting non-racist, well-educated people and forcing them to flee. ‘More money for the few please, that’s all that matters. What are those migrants doing on that boat? They better get off it so I can sell it! No EU safety regulations either please, what about our profit?!’ Maybe it’s actually a really clever, well-thought out plan! Shame there won’t be enough doctors to save them when they run out of people to hate on and start attacking each other, or when they have a heart attack because they allow their food industry to get into the state America’s is in. Maybe they are right. Maybe we should build a Trumpesque-style wall around our island, though we might as well hire Sergio to do it because that’s effort.